To win fair Cedric's heart
by roobes
Summary: CedricHarry slash. Harry enters a maiden auction disguised as a girl... with disastrous results! Warning contains mild rape rated pg-13 just to be safe!
1. A strange but appealing idea

To win fair Cedric's heart Harry sat in apparitions class not listening to a single word McGonagall was saying. She could have been speaking for Chinese for all he knew.  
  
The very reason Harry could not concentrate was sitting right in front of him. Cedric Diggory. He was tall, good looking and popular. He was everything a boy who was gay could wish for. Cedric and Harry were in the same class because the younger pupils were learning from the older pupils that week.  
  
Those smooth long legs, that blonde golden hair, those lovely blue eyes. Harry sighed. But there was one problem. Cho, that stupid bitch fancied Cedric as well and if Harry didn't act soon she might be his next girlfriend. Poor Cedric how could he go out with someone like chow? Harry was disgusted at the very thought.  
  
Harry sighed. He would do just about anything to get Cedric... anything!  
  
"POTTER!" Harry jumped, looking up. McGonagall was staring straight at him. "What have I been saying for the past hour or so?"  
  
"Um" Harry frantically tried to come up with a sensible answer that would at least make sense, but failed. "Don't know"  
  
"And why is that?" she growled.  
  
"Because I wasn't listening" Harry blushed, feeling his cheeks turn red.  
  
"Harry potter when will you learn!?" she sighed. "That looks like another detention at 5'0 clock this afternoon, you will then copy out the whole lesson. Do I make myself clear?" she snapped.  
  
"Yes Miss Professor McGonagall" Harry replied.  
  
No wonder Cedric wouldn't fancy me, Harry thought as he was walking from his detention to the Gryffindor common room. He was known as being a geek; his only friends were Ron geek number 1 and Hermione geek number 2. Oh and Hedwig and Trevor the toad just too make it even more embarrassing.  
  
As Harry entered the common room he saw Fred and George Weasley putting up a notice. He wondered what these two were up to this time.  
  
"What are you doing?" asked Harry.  
  
"Putting up a notice what does it look like?" they sneered.  
  
"Well what is the notice about let me see?" Harry said.  
  
He shoved them out the way and peered at the notice. It was an advertisement for a maiden auction.  
  
"Why are you holding a Maiden auction?" asked Harry.  
  
"Well 1. We want to make money and 2. We want to find ourselves girlfriends and 3. We want to make money" they said.  
  
They continued rambling on about how unlucky in love they were, but Harry wasn't listening. Yes! That's it the maiden auction, I can take part and maybe cedric A-hem will buy me! Harry thought.  
  
Harry walked up to his dormitory leaving the Weasley twins to wonder why Harry was leaving them in the middle of a conversation. 


	2. An ugly transformation

Chapter 2. Harry lay in bed pondering the idea of entering a Maiden auction. He could disguise himself as a girl and enter. It sounded easy enough. But what if he was caught what then? No I must not be thinking negatively, he told himself.  
  
This is for my one true love. There is no other way, he told himself.  
  
The next day there was a queue of girls outside the hall. "What's the queue for?" Harry asked Parvati who was nearby.  
  
"The maiden auction of course, just about every girl in Hogwarts is taking part" she turned her nose up at him.  
  
"I'm not" said Hermione, approaching them.  
  
"I can see why you wouldn't take part granger, you're too ugly, no wonder you've never had a boyfriend!" sneered Parvati.  
  
Harry sensed a bitch fight about to start, so he quickly changed the subject. "Hermione, I think we'd better go to class, I know how you hate being late"  
  
"Class, late!" Hermione dashed off . Harry decided to skip apparitions; he had some serious thinking to do.  
  
Later that afternoon, Harry decided to change completely, he would call himself Juliet and would wear a disguise. He had found out from a fellow student that in one of the dungeons, someone sold illegal things, somewhat like the black market. Harry still had plenty of galleons to purchase items to turn him into Juliet.  
  
That evening, Harry went down to the dungeons, under the Invisibility cloak, so as not to be seen. He made his way down the dark dank dungeon steps. There was a line of people waiting to purchase their items. How many people knew about this underground illegal service?  
  
The person in front of him, turned around. It was Filch! Filch stared at Harry. But of course he didn't know Harry was there, all filch could see was the dirty ground.  
  
Filch turned back, he was being served. It was like at the bank, someone sat behind a glass window but you couldn't see their face, they just handed you what you wanted through the tray at the bottom. Filch was served and walked away with a pair of fake breasts in his hands.  
  
What the hell was Filch doing with fake breasts? Harry really didn't want to know (you don't!) But seeing as Harry was getting some himself he couldn't really blame him.  
  
Harry took off the invisible cloak and walked up to the till. "What would you like to purchase?" asked the person behind the window. Harry ordered fake breasts, a blond wig, make up and a pink glittery dress.  
  
"What is the purpose of buying these items?" the person asked.  
  
"Um" Harry drastically tried to think of an answer. "My sister is appearing in a play" that was all he could think off. "What play?"  
  
"The Wizard of Oz"  
  
"Where is it on?" the person asked.  
  
"The national theatre"  
  
"When?"  
  
"Next week" "Who does your sister play?"  
  
God why can't this guy just shut up! Harry thought and fought an urge to shout it aloud. Harry was getting pretty annoyed by this point. "My sister plays a horse ok?"  
  
"I haven't heard of a horse with breasts before"  
  
"In this version the farmers have been putting different breeds of horses in the same stable ok?" Harry stormed off. With that he stormed off shouting "You should have paid more attention in muggle studies you moron!"  
  
Harry lay in bed, the next day he had 3 hours to turn himself into Juliet. 


	3. Strange encounters and becoming juliet

Disclaimer: I don not own any characters in Harry potter they all belong to J.K Rowling. Thanks birdie for Beta reading my story and being the first person to review. Hope you like this chapter. Please read and review!   
  
Chapter 3. The next day at 6, he walked or sneaked (sneaked is more appropriate) into the boys toilets just in case there were any girls going to the toilet. He changed, put on the breasts, the wig, the dress, the make up and stared at himself in the full length mirror. He really looked the part. This dress is really fitting thought Harry as he admired himself in the mirror im cough a boy im a boy im a boy! He told himself over and over again. He went up to the common room and slept on the sofa until everyone else woke up. The first person that came down was Ron. "Neville, how many times have I told you? You can't sleep here!" Ron said gently placing a hand on Harry's shoulder. Harry jumped up much to Ron's surprise. Ron stared at Harry/Juliet. What should we call him/her? Ok, Harry. Ron went red in the face and stuttered out to Harry. "Wh...Who ar...are you?" "My name's Juliet im new here im taking place in the maiden auction" Harry was enjoying this. "Why are you not in uniform?" "Um... what's it to you?" Harry pushed past Ron and started walking up the stairs to the boy's dormitory then Ron coughed. Harry turned around. "What?!" "That's the boy's dormitory" Ron said. "I knew that, I was looking for something a friend of mine had lost" This disguise must really be working! thought Harry. Later that day Harry was waiting to sign up for the maiden auction. Someone pushed him from behind and sent him forward knocking into the person in front. The person in front turned around. "Do you mind? I have never been so insulted in all my life! Your majesty! Iam so sorry to have upset you." Yes. This idiot was none other than Gildroy Lockhart. He was dressed in a jester's costume, with a stupid hat with bells on the front and a stupid grin plastered on his face. "Gildroy Lockhart! What are you doing here? How did you escape from the mental-?" "Shut up you incompetent fool! Iam Anne Robinson taking part in the miss united beauty pageant!" Dear gildroy Lockhart the idiot hadn't changed a bit. Harry was nearly at the front but gildroy was in front of him wondering whether he should tell the registrar, who was signing people up, whether he had short term memory loss or not, he couldn't remember. At last Harry was at the front of the queue with gildroy Lockhart skipping out of the hall shouting "I won! I won! Look at me! Look at me!" After Harry had signed up he started walking back to the common room when sir headless nick grabbed him by the arm. "Please come this way, come this way, it is an honour an absolute honour!" Harry was taken down to a dungeon filled with ghosts. They all gasped when Harry walked in and then they started cheering and clapping one ghost nearly fainted, (if ghosts can faint). Sir headless nick held up a hand and they all fell silent. "Ghosts of Hogwarts, it is an absolute honour to welcome a much loved ghost of the past who always filled our hearts with love and made our rainy days sunny ones-" "Get on with it, let her make a speech!" one ghost shouted. "Alright, ghost of Hogwarts may I welcome you Marilyn Monroe!" There was lots of applause. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? Was the thought in Harry's mind. "No please, you've got me very confused with someone else" I knew I should have got the brown wig thought Harry. "Listen I know you think I'm Marylin Monroe but I'm not! im called Juliet." Harry said exasperated. "Juliet? The Romeo and Juliet, Juliet? Wow I've always wanted to meet a ghost who lived in medieval times!" One ghost cried out. "No, you idiot! Juliet was a fictional character created by Shakespeare" The ghost next to him said. "Shut up what do you know about Shakespeare?" "More than you" "Shut up!" And so a riot broke among the ghosts and in the chaos Harry managed to slip out into the hallway. If I had known changing my appearance would cause so much fuss I wouldn't have changed, thought Harry. No he then thought I'm still in with a chance! Harry made his way up to the common room. When he entered Ron was reading on the sofa. Ron looked up and blushed and got up. An uneasy silence filled the room. "Ron why are you standing up?" Harry asked. "Do, do, you want to, to sit down?" Ron stuttered. "No thank you..." Harry's voice trailed off. "Are you taking part in,. the Maiden auction?" Ron asked. "Yes why do you want to know? On second thoughts don't answer that question." Harry suddenly felt very very sick. Ron walked over to Harry. "I've never felt this way before about anyone in my life, you're very beautiful" Ron moved dangerously close to Harry, Harry was about to run away and scream in terror when Hermione ran downstairs. "Ron I can't find Harry anywhere he's gone missing!" "He's probably in detention or fighting dragons or something I've got important matters to attend to" he said signalling towards Harry. "Ron I'm ashamed of you, Harry's your best friend and instead of looking for him you would rather flirt with a complete tart!" Harry turned and ran. He would rather be facing voldermort's wrath then be anywhere near Ron weasley. That evening Harry gave McGonagall a note saying that Harry was on a forced holiday with the Dursley's in sunny Brighton. Harry went up to the girl's dormitory. Harry lay on his bed watching the girl's getting changed. "Why aren't you getting changed?" one girl asked. "I'm sleeping in my clothes because I feel like it." "Don't you realise you'll smell?" one of the girls sneered. God thought Harry I didn't know girls could be so bitchy. Hermione approached Harry. "I suggest if you don't want a black eye, you stay away from Ron weasley, he's mine" She turned her nose up at Harry. "Ok" said Harry resisting the urge to laugh out loud. He went to bed and dreamt about munchkins laughing at him. 


	4. The maiden auction

Disclaimer: I don not own any characters in Harry potter they all belong to J.K Rowling. Thanks birdie for Beta reading my story and being the first person to review. Hope you like this chapter. Please read and review!   
  
Chapter 3. The next day at 6, he walked or sneaked (sneaked is more appropriate) into the boys toilets just in case there were any girls going to the toilet.  
  
He changed, put on the breasts, the wig, the dress, the make up and stared at himself in the full length mirror.  
  
He really looked the part. This dress is really fitting thought Harry as he admired himself in the mirror im cough a boy im a boy im a boy! He told himself over and over again.  
  
He went up to the common room and slept on the sofa until everyone else woke up. The first person that came down was Ron. "Neville, how many times have I told you? You can't sleep here!" Ron said gently placing a hand on Harry's shoulder. Harry jumped up much to Ron's surprise. Ron stared at Harry/Juliet. What should we call him/her? Ok, Harry. Ron went red in the face and stuttered out to Harry.  
  
"Wh...Who ar...are you?"  
  
"My name's Juliet im new here im taking place in the maiden auction" Harry was enjoying this.  
  
"Why are you not in uniform?"  
  
"Um... what's it to you?" Harry pushed past Ron and started walking up the stairs to the boy's dormitory then Ron coughed.  
  
Harry turned around. "What?!"  
  
"That's the boy's dormitory" Ron said.  
  
"I knew that, I was looking for something a friend of mine had lost" This disguise must really be working! thought Harry.  
  
Later that day Harry was waiting to sign up for the maiden auction. Someone pushed him from behind and sent him forward knocking into the person in front. The person in front turned around.  
  
"Do you mind? I have never been so insulted in all my life! Your majesty! Iam so sorry to have upset you."  
  
Yes. This idiot was none other than Gildroy Lockhart. He was dressed in a jester's costume, with a stupid hat with bells on the front and a stupid grin plastered on his face.  
  
"Gildroy Lockhart! What are you doing here? How did you escape from the mental-?"  
  
"Shut up you incompetent fool! Iam Anne Robinson taking part in the miss united beauty pageant!"  
  
Dear gildroy Lockhart the idiot hadn't changed a bit.  
  
Harry was nearly at the front but gildroy was in front of him wondering whether he should tell the registrar, who was signing people up, whether he had short term memory loss or not, he couldn't remember. At last Harry was at the front of the queue with gildroy Lockhart skipping out of the hall shouting "I won! I won! Look at me! Look at me!"  
  
After Harry had signed up he started walking back to the common room when sir headless nick grabbed him by the arm. "Please come this way, come this way, it is an honour an absolute honour!"  
  
Harry was taken down to a dungeon filled with ghosts. They all gasped when Harry walked in and then they started cheering and clapping one ghost nearly fainted, (if ghosts can faint). Sir headless nick held up a hand and they all fell silent. "Ghosts of Hogwarts, it is an absolute honour to welcome a much loved ghost of the past who always filled our hearts with love and made our rainy days sunny ones-"  
  
"Get on with it, let her make a speech!" one ghost shouted.  
  
"Alright, ghost of Hogwarts may I welcome you Marilyn Monroe!"  
  
There was lots of applause. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? Was the thought in Harry's mind. "No please, you've got me very confused with someone else"  
  
I knew I should have got the brown wig thought Harry.  
  
"Listen I know you think I'm Marylin Monroe but I'm not! im called Juliet." Harry said exasperated.  
  
"Juliet? The Romeo and Juliet, Juliet? Wow I've always wanted to meet a ghost who lived in medieval times!" One ghost cried out.  
  
"No, you idiot! Juliet was a fictional character created by Shakespeare" The ghost next to him said.  
  
"Shut up what do you know about Shakespeare?"  
  
"More than you"  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
And so a riot broke among the ghosts and in the chaos Harry managed to slip out into the hallway. If I had known changing my appearance would cause so much fuss I wouldn't have changed, thought Harry. No he then thought I'm still in with a chance!  
  
Harry made his way up to the common room. When he entered Ron was reading on the sofa. Ron looked up and blushed and got up. An uneasy silence filled the room.  
  
"Ron why are you standing up?" Harry asked.  
  
"Do, do, you want to, to sit down?" Ron stuttered.  
  
"No thank you..." Harry's voice trailed off.  
  
"Are you taking part in,. the Maiden auction?" Ron asked.  
  
"Yes why do you want to know? On second thoughts don't answer that question." Harry suddenly felt very very sick.  
  
Ron walked over to Harry. "I've never felt this way before about anyone in my life, you're very beautiful"  
  
Ron moved dangerously close to Harry, Harry was about to run away and scream in terror when Hermione ran downstairs.  
  
"Ron I can't find Harry anywhere he's gone missing!"  
  
"He's probably in detention or fighting dragons or something I've got important matters to attend to" he said signalling towards Harry.  
  
"Ron I'm ashamed of you, Harry's your best friend and instead of looking for him you would rather flirt with a complete tart!"  
  
Harry turned and ran. He would rather be facing voldermort's wrath then be anywhere near Ron weasley. That evening Harry gave McGonagall a note saying that Harry was on a forced holiday with the Dursley's in sunny Brighton.  
  
Harry went up to the girl's dormitory. Harry lay on his bed watching the girl's getting changed.  
  
"Why aren't you getting changed?" one girl asked.  
  
"I'm sleeping in my clothes because I feel like it."  
  
"Don't you realise you'll smell?" one of the girls sneered.  
  
God thought Harry I didn't know girls could be so bitchy.  
  
Hermione approached Harry. "I suggest if you don't want a black eye, you stay away from Ron weasley, he's mine" She turned her nose up at Harry.  
  
"Ok" said Harry resisting the urge to laugh out loud. He went to bed and dreamt about munchkins laughing at him. 


	5. Malfoy's lust and POBF

Disclaimer: I don not own any characters in Harry potter they all belong to J.K Rowling. Thanks birdie for Beta reading my story and being the first person to review. Hope you like this chapter. Please read and review! Chapter 5. Malfoy was sitting on a green sofa in the common room. He looked up as Harry entered and smiled. "You may leave now Crabbe and close the door behind you" he said. "Come and sit down Juliet. Do you want a drink? Actually, it would be better if we got this over and done with wouldn't you agree?" Malfoy smiled which told Harry that his intentions were not good. Harry looked around nervously. "Don't worry I've made sure this room is heavily guarded, we won't be disturbed." Harry sat on the sofa away from Malfoy. "Why don't you come and sit closer" malfoy the blonde said patting the space next to him. Harry reluctantly sat next to him. Harry the brunette stared around the room desperately searching for something to take his mind off the situation, or even better an exit. "That's a nice painting" Harry said vaguely. "I don't care about the painting" Malfoy whispered staring right down Harry's dress. "This is wrong so wrong!" shouted Harry trying to get up but Malfoy grabbed his waist and pulled him down so Harry was lying on the sofa. "Get off Malfoy!" but it was too late Malfoy was already pulling at Harry's dress trying to undo it. When Harry tried to scream Malfoy clamped a hand over his mouth to muffle the screams. Just at that moment the door burst open and Cedric and his friends came in, Ron tagging along behind them. "Where is she?" Cedric cried out. Harry quickly stood up. This was the moment I had always imagined Harry thought. He was about to rush into Cedric's arm's when Malfoy stood up. "She's mine!" Malfoy made a grab at Harry. "Oh no she's not!" cried Cedric. "Oh yes she is!" cried malfoy. "Oh no she's not!" cried Cedric "Oh yes she is!" cried malfoy. "People, may I just remind you that this is not a pantomime!" one of Cedric's friends shouted. "Anyway, Malfoy we have proof that you bought Juliet with illegal, dirty money, am I right?" Cedric asked. "I have no idea what you're talking about" said Malfoy standing up defiantly. Cedric produced a roll of parchment. "We have evidence from this parchment that you Draco Malfoy, sell baby frogs to the Slytherins" "Alright I admit it! Those baby frogs are so cute and they need a good home!" Malfoy broke down sobbing. Cedric stared at the blubbering Malfoy. "Well I wasn't expecting that reaction!" Malfoy now stood up. "You'll see we're setting up a society Protection of Baby Frogs! Just wait! POBF will get you!" Malfoy ran away laughing his head off. With that Cedric led Harry to the Hufflepuff common room, traumatised by the sight of Malfoy laughing. 


End file.
